Starting Over
by SaraNomed
Summary: Set several months after the end of Sun/Moon, Plumeria is still fuming about Guzma's actions. Why did he break up Team Skull? What really happened in Ultra Space? She can only speculate, until a very insistent Cutiefly appears, leading her to something, and someone, she never thought she'd find again. Guzma/Plumeria -coverart by sabishiranami of Tumblr and used with permission


The sun was just beginning to melt into the vast blueness of the sea, tinting the waters gold and crimson as another beautiful day in Alola came to a close. Plumeria walked slowly along the path near a cliff-side, thick swaths of plants near her swaying gently in the evening breeze. She paused briefly to stare out over the ocean, reflecting, as she often did, on the past several months...

Just a short time ago, it seemed, things had been fairly simple; Team Skull swiped Pokemon, generally caused chaos, and whether she personally liked it or not, did work for Aether behind everyone's backs. Then, seemingly overnight, everything went to hell. That kid had appeared, causing all sorts of trouble for them, Lusamine had lost what little grip on sanity she possessed, and Guzma, so blinded by her power and empty promises, starved for recognition, had played right into her filthy hands...

Her fists clenched. _Guzma._

Just thinking the name made her furious all over again. No matter how many times she tried to talk to him about it, tried to tell him that blonde bitch was just using him, using all of them, that she'd drop them the second she got what she wanted, he refused to listen. Then he disappeared into that portal. Scared for his life herself, she had barely managed to keep everyone together and focused when out of the blue, one night he showed up again in Po Town, looking like the dead. He locked himself in his room for two days before emerging and declaring that Team Skull was, as of that moment, officially disbanded. At first, no one believed him, but when he had removed his chain bearing the team's insignia and viciously flung it straight through a window, the group's worst fears were confirmed.

Plumeria shook her head, remembering his refusal to answer most of her questions that day, saying only that he was 'really sorry' and that he 'just couldn't do it anymore' and to 'take care of these idiots'. His last words before stalking off into the rain were what stuck with her the most.

"Sometime here, when I can wrap my own thick skull around this, I'll find ya and explain, Plumes..."

"That fucking moron..." she spat to herself. Having had more than enough of brooding for now, and with her stomach starting to rumble, she began to make her way along the path back toward home when a loud buzzing and squeaking caught her attention. Turning her head, she saw a Cutiefly zip past her, then spin around to bob up to her face, fluttering and excitedly vocalizing .

"Um, hello little guy...what's your deal?" she asked uncertainly.

The tiny bug circled her head a couple times, still squeaking rapidly as if trying to tell her something. Then it flew a short ways ahead, stopped, and turned back toward her, bouncing around in mid-air.

"Are you-you want me to follow you?"

Cutiefly clapped it's legs, repeating the 'fly-ahead-then-stop' move. Plumeria sighed, her shoulders drooping. There was a good chance this damn bug just wanted her help getting some food or something else stupid, but at the same time, her curiosity was stronger than her hunger, and she began to follow the small Pokemon. It lead her on for a solid ten minutes before she started to think that maybe the little thing was just messing with her, when she froze at the sight of a figure leaning on some boulders near the cliff-edge with his back toward her. His unruly, black-and-white hair ruffled in the wind as he stood slightly hunched over. The Cutiefly flew over to him and chirped happily, landing on his shoulder. She didn't need him to turn around to know who it was, her feet rooted to the spot and her hands balled into fists again as he finally did, eyes on the ground before daring to flick up and meet hers.

"Hey Plumes..." Guzma said softly, a sad smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

"It's Plumeria." she replied curtly.

His smile dropped like a rock, and he looked away, "Yeah, I guess I deserve that."

A long,awkward silence stretched between them, the only sounds the wind in the trees and the sigh of the ocean. She took a moment to study him. He wore a simple white t-shirt and dark gray sweat-pants with grubby sandals, and judging from the amount of black in his hair he hadn't touched it up in weeks. He wasn't slouching quite as much, but the bags under his eyes were as dark as they'd ever been. Finally Plumeria broke the silence.

"Well? What do you want?"

He paused before giving a short, bitter laugh, "I could make a damn list. But right now, I guess I wanna say hi, ask how you've been, tell ya what I've been up to...if, ya know, you wanna talk to me...I guess."

There were many things she'd like to say to him, most of them involving at least one insult or curse word, but of all the thoughts swirling in her mind, one simple word pushed it's way to the forefront and out of her mouth.

"Why?" she said through clenched teeth, "Just...why?"

He didn't need to ask what she meant or to what she was referring; that one word did a good job of summing up pretty much everything. Moving to a flatter portion of the nearest boulder, he patted the area next to him and glanced up at her again, "If you'll hear me out, c'mere. Ya boi-um..." he shook his head, "I'll do my best."

Plumeria crossed her arms and kept her cold gaze steady as she could. A part of her wanted to turn and walk away. After what he'd done to her, to everyone, and the bitterness of standing out in the pounding rain, screaming his name as he walked away with the grunts around her crying in stunned confusion still lingered in her mind.

However...

After a moment's hesitation, just enough for her to be satisfied seeing him squirm, she walked over and plopped down in the indicated spot, still staring at him with a stoic, distrustful expression. Guzma gently scratched the Cutiefly under the chin before recalling it, then let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair and staring out over the sea as he began to speak.

"I guess...it's best to start with what happened before I took off..."

Plumeria sat and listened thoughtfully as he began. He told her about how Lusamine had fed him tale after tale of how powerful the Ultra Beasts were, and how mighty he'd be if he'd join her in finding them. He spoke of being trapped in Ultra Space, bitterly saying how Plumeria had been right; as soon as Lusamine didn't need him anymore, she had tossed him aside like a piece of garbage. His voice held a strained note as he described being possessed by one of 'those freaky jellyfish things'; how it latched onto him, infecting his mind and controlling his body, taunting and tormenting him with vivid memories of his darkest moments, dragging his deepest fears to the surface while he himself was unable to do anything but scream silently, a helpless puppet. He told her how he had finally mustered the strength to tear it off and run, finding a relatively safe place to hide-then Lillie and that kid had

appeared.

After the dust cleared and everyone made it back, he was finally able to slip away and start the long trek back to Po Town. He shuddered, remembering how much his mind had been clouded with fear and anguish, how every rustle in the bushes or movement had made him jump out of his skin, how once he managed to wrestle his racing thoughts back to a semi-coherent state debating what he was going to do. By the time the tall walls surrounding the town came into view, the worst possible choice he could make had already wormed it's way firmly into his brain, but it would be another two days of punching the walls, violent sobbing, and drunken stupor before he realized it was the only way.

"So you see, Plumeria...I had to disband the gang. I ain't gonna ask for forgiveness, nah, I know I don't deserve it, but I thought you should know the why."

She blinked back at him, confused, humbled, and infuriated all at once by his story, "You're saying-you had to break up Team Skull because you got the shit scared outta you?! That's _it_?"

"Whattaya mean that's it? I was a fuckin' mess! I was in no shape to be lookin' after all of ya! Could barely see straight, forget about thinkin' straight, jumpin' at every little sound, cryin' at the drop of a hat...can't lead a gang like that."

The fury now dominating, she stood and turned away, rubbing her temples, then whirled back to face him, "You-you goddamn, stupid, prime _idiot!_!"

Her words had been so loud they echoed off the boulders and nearby cliff-side, and for a moment that was the only sound hanging in the cooling twilight air. She almost wanted to slap him, but instead continued to vent her own frustrations.

"You think you were scared?! What about all of us? When you ran off after-after that _bitch_ , we had no idea if and when you were coming back!"

He averted his eyes, "I was going to, after I caught one of those things. With them, I'd be the strongest trainer in Alola, hell, the world, and-"

"Oh my fucking god!" Plumeria spat, stomping in a circle, "That's what this was all about after all! YOU! _You_ having to be the best, _you_ having to be the strongest, _your_ fuckin', overblown ego-!"

"THAT'S NOT WHY!" he roared, standing and facing her, suddenly every bit his old, boss self, "That's not the only reason! I also did it because if I was the strongest, I'd actually be able to make enough money to take care of you and everyone else!"

Plumeria stopped, looking at him now with a confsued expression, "What?"

"Yeah, that's right!" he sneered, bracing his hands on his hips and stooping forward in a gesture she knew all too well, "Big Bad Guzma, believe it or not, gave two shits whether y'all lived or not! See, if I could bring in the cash with my ultra-powerful team, we'd never have to rely on anyone or worry about anythin' again! No more hearin' someone cryin' 'cause their stomach's empty, no more tryin' to patch leaks with whatever scraps we got lyin' around, no more havin' to avoid the doctor's at all costs if someone gets sick, no more spendin' the rest of your life in a shitty broken-down, rainy town with my big dumb ass because you'd actually have enough money to go out and make somethin' of yourself!"

He snarled in frustration, balled his fist and threw it back to punch the nearest tree, but suddenly froze, his hand still in mid-air when it and his whole body started to shake, and he lowered his arm. His head followed, and finally he just flopped back onto the rock, his face in his hands, all the rage gone and it seemed all his energy as well as he sat in a slumped heap.

Plumeria stared at him, at a loss for words as she hugged herself. After several minutes with no movement but the night breeze stirring the lush growth around them, Guzma lifted his head just enough to meet her eyes.

"...But I fucked all that up. Story of my life, eh? I had no idea she wasn't plannin' on coming back, and once I found out it was too late. Crazy bitch didn't even _have_ a way to get back. So there I was, stuck, with only those things and my own mind to keep my company. Not a good combo..."

"Guzma..."

He squeezed his eyes shut, "Wanna know what I was scared of the most, more than the nightmares, more than bein' stuck there for the rest of my life, more than those goddamn, gigglin' things floatin' around...? How I'd never, ever get to see all your stupid faces again, how y'all would always wonder what happened to me and why'd I'd left ya, to tell you you were right, to say...I was sorry."

Plumeria let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. With a weary sigh, he stood and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking at her one more time, starting to open his mouth but then closing it again. Biting his lip, he turned and started to slowly walk away.

"So there. I uh...hope that answers your question. Why? Because I let y'all down. Because I had no idea if I was ever gonna be mentally capable of things going back to normal. Because I had to do what was best for everyone; disappear. Sorry, Plumeria. If ya ever want to see my ugly mug again, I'll be-"

Darting forward, she grabbed his arm, "Wait!"

He jerked his head toward her, eyebrow raised in question, and her grip on him tightened in sync with her throat.

"Why didn't you tell me all this sooner? You could have let everyone, at-at least me know what your plan was! I was so-" she swallowed the lump stopping her voice, "We were so scared we'd never see you again."

Guzma cracked a terribly sad, humorless smile, "'Cause I was too much of a mess when I got back to be able to explain it. Hell, I'm still a mess. Also, I didn't want ya to be scared. Thought I could be there and back quick n' easy. Figured there was no sense in makin' ya worry over nothin'. Well, I fucked that up too," he sighed again and shook his head, "Look, I know it's way too late and everything, and I can't change what happened. I wouldn't blame you or anyone from the team if ya hated me. I'm pretty sure I hate me. But...yeah. I guess that's about it."

Plumeria regraded him for a moment, her amber eyes locked with his deep gray ones, taking in everything he had said over the past hour or so. It was so much to take in, more than she had imagined he would say, and more than she could process just yet. She looked down at her hand clutching his wrist. Such a short time ago she had wanted to slap the shit out of him with that hand. Flicking her gaze back up, she saw he was warily watching her, expecting some sort of answer, be it a kind word or a harsh insult. Using the grip she had on him, she yanked him toward her, throwing her arms around his large frame and squeezing him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder; he smelled of coffee, musk and whatever soap he was using and she was loathe to admit how much she liked that scent. She heard him hiss in a breath and felt how tense he was under her touch, but then how he swiftly melted into her embrace, slowly putting his arms around her in return.

They stood like this for a little while, neither saying a word and simply taking in the others presence, one they each had sorely missed. By now it was almost completely dark, with only the barest glow on the horizon and the sky alight with countless stars and a frail sickle of moon. It was Guzma who finally pulled back to look at her, and he fought back the gasp that welled up in him at seeing the silver moonlight gleaming in her eyes. He quickly shook his head and grinned, fighting off the unexpected ache in his heart.

"So, does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

Those eyes narrowed, "You wish! But...now I'm a lot less mad. I just still don't understand..."

"What?"

"Why you couldn't let us help you, before you took off or after you got back. Guzma, you do realize that we all cared about you, right? Like, a lot. Even if you fucked up, even if you were doin' some grade-A stupid shit, we were there for you, same as you were for us, and for each other."

He slowly closed his eyes, then opened them again, "Yeah...I know. And I knew it then too, I just couldn't...look, Plumeria," after a moment's hesitation, he reached one hand up to rest against her jawline, "I'm a wreck. Always have been, I might always be. And since I can't go back, I'll just have to keep movin' forward, make the best of things. Part of that was this, talkin' to you and tryin' to explain my bullshit. I tried..." his hand fell away, shoulders sagging, "But I probably messed this up too, eh?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, "Hey Guzma?"

"...Yeah?"

"It's Plumes."

His face lit up with a smile so radiant and genuinely happy, the kind she couldn't recall if she'd ever seen on him, the perpetual furrow between his brows vanishing, his eyes dancing, that for a moment she felt a distinct tremble in her knees. Composing herself, she stepped out of his arms with a fleeting ache of her own.

Pushing her hair back, she jerked her thumb over her shoulder in the vague direction of town, "I dunno about you, but I'm so hungry I could eat a Mudsdale. Want to go grab some grub and we can catch up a bit?"

"Sounds like a plan, especially the food. I'm fuckin' starved," he replied, that grin still plastered to his face, falling in step with her as they began to walk, "Where we going?"

"We'll figure it out when we get there. I know one more place we need to go, too."

"Where?"

She reached up to ran a hand through his terribly uneven and disheveled mane, "Mine. You desperately need a trim and a touch-up."

He threw his head back and laughed, the sounds bouncing through the suddenly warmer night air before wrapping his arm around her shoulders, and together they made their way toward the glittering lights of the nearby city, the warm glow seeming to mirror their own.


End file.
